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Written on: Tuesday November 4th, 2008

Whew.

 been whirling in activity since i landed here in Bellingham Thursday evening.  Everyday I have wanted to sit down and do some writing and only today have I found the space of calm to do so. 

the pieces of me are beginning to catch up to this moment. beginning to catch on to the reality that I am no longer travelling. that i have arrived where i set out to go to. that it is now fall-nearly-winter in the PNW and it will (it has) rained nearly every day for much of the day. And the light is now waning dramatically.

 and here I am.

 the last 45 miles of the journey were awfully emotionful. a little rainy. I took this lovely curvy road on this strip of bay-coast here just out side of town. so so cautiously. 20 miles from home I stopped to pee and get a coffee at a place with a pretty big gravel parking lot with some big puddly places- was directed across the street to some porta-poties. laid the bike down pulling out of that parking lot. 20 miles from home. only the second time in nearly 4000 miles. oh so humbling. lesson to hold the simultaneous truths that i am a bad ass and i have ridden all the way here through some intense weather and on some real demanding roads. and also, sometimes i cannot hold the bike up. sometimes i fall down on the wet muddy gravel. some man said to me when I was insisting that, while I was appreciative of his help getting the bike up, he needed to wait a second for me to tell him what to do cause he was trying to haul it up by the windshield mount, he said "you are going to get yourself hurt young lady." he was right in a way. my ego sure was bruised. and also he doesn't have a fucking clue. and also, sometimes I am just not strong enough, just not skilled enough. some times the bike is just to heavy, the world too slanty, my legs too short, the gravel too gravelley. and i am brave when i choose to try any way. 

 

When I got to my driveway, I shut down the bike, put the kickstand down, and just sat there for a while. crying. for the enormity of the journey. for relief and gratitude to have made it all the way safely. for the release of exhaling after working so hard, praying so much for what felt like a very long time. my roomate reeb greeting me joyfully. she cried too. and then she made me an excellent welcome-home feast and several of our closest friends came over too. great and a little strange to be home, to be arrived.

Friday I had a meeting right away to determine the future of the Naked Truth at Western. Learn more about the Naked Truth at: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=77130275

 and then that night was the Bellingham Juggling Festival and the renegade show- a kind of juggling/variety open mic. It was also Halloween and after the show we hosted a huge party. I did an act about how I had been conceptualizing the BJF as my very own personal welcome home party. See photo for more on that. Then Saturday was the Public Show. I was the MC. It was a pretty fantastic show. Then Sunday I went to a friend's end of chemo party in Port Townsend, then Monday I spent most of the day getting back to Bellingham and today I voted. 

I have not unpacked. I have not done post-trip care on my bike. I have not called the insurance company to work on getting a new saddle bag after that lady ran into my bike and knocked it over. I have not ridden at all. Right now might be a good time. Not raining and hasn't been almost all day so the roads aren't too wet. Alas, I don't think it is going to happen today. Maybe tomorrow. There is so much to do.

I am really working to keep the best lessons of my trip very alive and bright in my life as I chart my course now.

Be Brave. Follow where heart strings are tugged. Simultaneously agressively pursuing my desire and surrendering completely. Feeling powerful while being humble. Speak whole truths. The stunning immediacy of each second. Curiosity. Faith. Practice the impossible.

 

Some numbers:

with all the back roads and indirect paths I rode, I went about 4000 miles. My odemeter says I went about 3913 from Jackson, TN to Evertte, WA. add 236 miles from Hartford to Nashville to Jackson and 60 from Everette to Bham and that equals more than 4000. There is a chance that my odometer, like my spedometer, is a bit off. the google map estimation that doesn't account for all the blue highways- but some- says I went 3,895

I spent $264.97 for about 97 gallons of gas. making my overall average gas milage something pretty close to 41mpg. I wish I could say it were 50. it just aint.

 

So here I am. Home.

which is funny. Because I was home when I started this trip. 4000 miles from home to home. across such a great distance. home to home. what a journey. 

 

It has been so amazing to get so much love from so many people. I am so grateful.

 

There is more still that I want to write here. Things that were deleted before. More reflections of how my privilege has shaped each step of the way. How this world was not built for me and my body and how most people don't think I am capeable of much and are shocked to see that I can. 

 Also, soon there will be videos of my performance on my "motorcycle" at the renegade show and maybe parts of the Public Show available on youtube. 

 

A final reflection:

I am left with a much enlivened sense of the possible. Available to us collectively and individually are great gifts we can put to work to create the lives and the communities that we wish to dwell within. It is time to awaken and arise- whatever that means in our lives. There is no time to play small. There is no time to let the tyranny of fear dictate our lives, our cultures, our communities large and small. We must be brave. We must believe that we are capeable of inacting the impossible. When we act out of love, the world responds with exponentially more love and support. When we leap faithfully toward joy, those near us feel the smiles that fall from our wings- those wings that we didn't notice sprouting from our shoulder blades while we were rapt with focus in the stunning immediacy of the moment. We have a long way to go. Calling all angels. The world is shifting. I pray that we all may have the courage to follow where our heartstrings tug us. With open eyes and open hearts, great curiousity, great love, a tickeled sense of sillyness, and great determination.

 

 thank you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Your Family, Friends & Fans on Nov 16th, 2008

We thank you!!!!!